Since Paris was rejected by Rwanda, she's been searching for a social cause to take up. She still wants to make like she cares about the world, despite running around in assless chaps and spreading her legs on every banquette in every club possible. What better cause to take up than drunk elephants? Huh? Is this an episode of "Absolutely Fabulous"? Paris Hilton wants us to know that there are elephants in Africa that are hooked on rice beer. And this is causing them to run into electric poles. And she wants to stop them. Seriously, did Jennifer Saunders write this?
And party monster Paris was horrified to hear that 40 squiffy elephants fought with an electric pole in the West Garo Hills district last week, which instantly electrocuted six of the blotto beasts.So the hotel heiress is launching a campaign to encourage locals to hide their vats of home-made brew from the grey inebriates, who have started to search for the free alcohol for their benders. Of last week's jumbo deaths, Paris said: "There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away.
"And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad. The biggest problems are in Assam and Meghalaya. The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."
This is sorta ironic. Shouldn't the same go for you and your slut friends? Please just look at the picture of this pinhead and imagine her running around Africa trying to get elephants into AA. And then just go about your day with my apologies for bothering you with this.
Update: Apparently, I'm a total dumbass and Assam and Meghalaya are India. So I'm the pinhead. F*ck, Paris Hilton is smarter than me. Kill me now.
Photos: WENN
More photos of Paris Hilton greeting photographers and fans when arriving at Gimpo Airport in
Seoul, South Korea are after the jump.
Photos: WENN
T-Bone says:
Yes, there are bigger fish to fry, but hey, she's trying... and elephants getting electrocuted because some stupid human can't figure out a way to keep the rice beer out of reach is just ridiculous! If the locals are so dense that they can't figure this out, then they deserve Paris Hilton and everything that comes with her. GO PARIS!
tido says:
so how long before we see her toting a baby elephant around in a handbag?
Ick says:
Assam and Meghalaya are in India, not Africa. Genius.
thatgirlshines says:
"She still wants to make like she cares about the world, despite running around in assless chaps and spreading her legs on every banquette in every club possible."
it's sentences like this that make me love you, j. harvey.
2 Old 4 This says:
oh J - how could you!
I can forgive the dolphin jokes but honestly;
mentioning Paris Hilton in the same paragraph as Jennifer Saunders?
UNFORGIVABLE!
2 Old 4 This says:
Bitch Trog!
Hayley says:
Aaaahahahahaha!
Oh christ thats brilliant, the commentary on these is the only thing that gets me through my day :D