Socialite Life

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr Still Together I Guess

2008-08-21T14:44:40Z

Rumor has it that Orlando Bloom and his angel Miranda Kerr haven't split as suspiciously reported earlier, and at least the physical connection is still going strong. A source saw the couple together at Lure Fish Bar in SoHo eating face more than dinner.

"They were pretty hot and heavy and they were sitting right in the middle of the room," the source said. "They were definitely into each other, definitely not broken up."

Then the two were spotted riding around together on Orlando's bike -- and meeting up with a male friend of Miranda's? I'm surprised Orlando didn't turn as green as the hulk with all of that envy and jealousy I see on his face.

]]> Orlando Bloom and his angel Miranda Kerr haven't split as suspiciously reported earlier, and at least the physical connection is still going strong. A source saw the couple together at Lure Fish Bar in SoHo eating face more than dinner.

"They were pretty hot and heavy and they were sitting right in the middle of the room," the source said. "They were definitely into each other, definitely not broken up."

Then the two were spotted riding around together on Orlando's bike -- and meeting up with a male friend of Miranda's? I'm surprised Orlando didn't turn as green as the hulk with all of that envy and jealousy I see on his face.

Who's Showing Some Side Boob Cleavage?

2008-08-21T13:59:52Z

Click the photo above to find out who she is.

]]> Lindsay Lohan!

Spencer Pratt Tries To Bring Jesus Into This

2008-08-21T12:59:23Z

According to Spencer Pratt, since Heidi Montag entered into his life, he's started going to church and he said, "The walls shook a little bit as I first cruised in, but Jesus and I are making the connection." Ugh. How appropriate that to describe his relationship with the Lord, Spencer employs a term that is overused on pretty much every VH1 reality dating show.

In reference to his un-Christian-like response to Mary-Kate Olsen's claim that Spencer had a bad temper, he called her "the less cute twin." Apparently Heidi's reaction was, "What would Jesus do?" To this Spence responded, "And I'm like, 'Jesus gave me these great comebacks.'" I love that he's delusional to think that's a "comeback." Also, you know the answer to WWJD for Heidi is always "get bigger veneers."

Sounds like somebody could have used Jesus when he was getting his ass verbally kicked by David Letterman. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, I guess.

Click any image to view all 10+ photos of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag in the gallery!

]]> Spencer Pratt, since Heidi Montag entered into his life, he's started going to church and he said, "The walls shook a little bit as I first cruised in, but Jesus and I are making the connection." Ugh. How appropriate that to describe his relationship with the Lord, Spencer employs a term that is overused on pretty much every VH1 reality dating show.

In reference to his un-Christian-like response to Mary-Kate Olsen's claim that Spencer had a bad temper, he called her "the less cute twin." Apparently Heidi's reaction was, "What would Jesus do?" To this Spence responded, "And I'm like, 'Jesus gave me these great comebacks.'" I love that he's delusional to think that's a "comeback." Also, you know the answer to WWJD for Heidi is always "get bigger veneers."

Sounds like somebody could have used Jesus when he was getting his ass verbally kicked by David Letterman. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, I guess.

Check out all 10+ photos of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag in the gallery!

Kitten Eating Spaghetti Photo Inserted At An Inappropriate Moment In The Morning

2008-08-21T12:29:05Z

There's nothing like a cat to seize the attention of America, but a cat eating spaghetti? Pure eyeball-grabbing gold, my friends; just take in the aftermath of the Soup's clip of the pasta eating pussy. The Internet has been fired up with reaction, the Youtube clip has climbed to the Top 10 at ViralVideoChart.com and someone is, of course, selling T-shirts. Yet the big question of "why did the Mike and Juliet Show cut away to the cat during a conversation on binge drinking?" can now be answered.

(via Oh No They Didn't!)
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(via Oh No They Didn't!)

Chace Crawford And Ed Westwick: A Love Story

2008-08-21T11:29:56Z

Reminiscent of Natalie Wood and a very dapper James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

Click any photo to view all the photos of Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick in the gallery!

]]> Natalie Wood and a very dapper James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

Broadway's Prepping For Katie Holmes

2008-08-21T10:29:40Z

Katie Holmes has been rehearsing like a maniac for her Broadway debut in All My Sons and the very first fruits of her labors can be seen here. These are some flyers of the actress and her co-stars going up in NYC to promote the show's upcoming opening.

I'm so sad to report that Suri Cruise is not in any of these pictures. She is my new favorite individual to gossip about, since she seems infinitely more charming and worth writing about than her parents.

I'm pretty sure Katie's texting Suri in these pictures, asking her daughter if they can squeeze in a lunch together after Suri's hair and nail appointments. Suri got upset when she read that haters were talking smack about her chipped nail polish and loose weave.

Do not fuck with Suri Cruise! She will cut you and then kidnap your baby.

Click any image to view all 10 photos of Katie Holmes in the gallery!

]]> Katie Holmes has been rehearsing like a maniac for her Broadway debut in All My Sons and the very first fruits of her labors can be seen here. These are some flyers of the actress and her co-stars going up in NYC to promote the show's upcoming opening.

I'm so sad to report that Suri Cruise is not in any of these pictures. She is my new favorite individual to gossip about, since she seems infinitely more charming and worth writing about than her parents.

I'm pretty sure Katie's texting Suri in these pictures, asking her daughter if they can squeeze in a lunch together after Suri's hair and nail appointments. Suri got upset when she read that haters were talking smack about her chipped nail polish and loose weave.

Do not fuck with Suri Cruise! She will cut you and then kidnap your baby.

Check out all 10 photos of Katie Holmes in the gallery!

Jennifer Garner Confirms Pregnancy

2008-08-21T00:44:03Z

The Alias star finally admitted today that she was pregnant with baby number two for her and hubby Ben Affleck.

At the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles, Jennifer Garner chatted with an Access Hollywood reporter, who congratulated the star on the red carpet during the Baby Einstein's 10th anniversary celebration. To this, Jennifer said, "Thank you. We're so excited, obviously."

Nobody was really surprised to hear news of the confirmation, since Garner's insider spilled the beans and her we've been ardently charting the growth of her expanding tummy. As for future big sister Violet Affleck, she's off to art class with her mom and is most likely enjoying her last few months as an only child.

Enjoy them Violet because before you know it, some snot-nosed little sibling is going to be playing with your Michael Jackson doll while you're at kindergarten and there won't be much you can do about it. (*Nervous laughter*) Kidding! I love my little sisters!

]]> Alias star finally admitted today that she was pregnant with baby number two for her and hubby Ben Affleck.

At the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles, Jennifer Garner chatted with an Access Hollywood reporter, who congratulated the star on the red carpet during the Baby Einstein's 10th anniversary celebration. To this, Jennifer said, "Thank you. We're so excited, obviously."

Nobody was really surprised to hear news of the confirmation, since Garner's insider spilled the beans and her we've been ardently charting the growth of her expanding tummy. As for future big sister Violet Affleck, she's off to art class with her mom and is most likely enjoying her last few months as an only child.

Enjoy them Violet because before you know it, some snot-nosed little sibling is going to be playing with your Michael Jackson doll while you're at kindergarten and there won't be much you can do about it. (*Nervous laughter*) Kidding! I love my little sisters!

Janet Jackson Wants To Cover Your Boobies

2008-08-20T23:59:10Z

The Pleasure Principle lingerie line was conceived by infamous boob exposer Janet Jackson and designed by Australian designer Bruno Schiavi, who helped design Dr. 90210 Robert Rey's line of undies for ladies. If you thought Janet was going to come up with the designs herself, keep in mind that she's a busy woman! There are dancers to be mentored!

Besides, I love Janet, but sometimes she makes silly fashion mistakes like forgetting to hem her pants and I realize that she occasionally needs guidance.

Ever the diligent fashion observer, Janet's lingerie line will be available in department stores with most pieces priced at under $40. Comfort meets sex appeal is the goal, the star professes. "It makes you feel incredible and offers variety as diverse as the women who will wear it," Janet claims.

But you know there are going to be some random little dominatrix flourishes thrown in there with the silk and lace, just to remind us that sometimes girlfriend likes to get nasty.

Take a trip down memory lane by clicking on and photo of Janet Jackson to view the entire gallery.

]]> The Pleasure Principle lingerie line was conceived by infamous boob exposer Janet Jackson and designed by Australian designer Bruno Schiavi, who helped design Dr. 90210 Robert Rey's line of undies for ladies. If you thought Janet was going to come up with the designs herself, keep in mind that she's a busy woman! There are dancers to be mentored!

Besides, I love Janet, but sometimes she makes silly fashion mistakes like forgetting to hem her pants and I realize that she occasionally needs guidance.

Ever the diligent fashion observer, Janet's lingerie line will be available in department stores with most pieces priced at under $40. Comfort meets sex appeal is the goal, the star professes. "It makes you feel incredible and offers variety as diverse as the women who will wear it," Janet claims.

But you know there are going to be some random little dominatrix flourishes thrown in there with the silk and lace, just to remind us that sometimes girlfriend likes to get nasty.

Take a trip down memory lane by clicking on and photo of Janet Jackson to view the entire gallery.

BREAKING: Matt Damon's Wife Has A Girl!

2008-08-20T23:29:51Z

Star of The Bourne Trilogy, Matt Damon and his wife Luciana have welcomed a baby girl into the world. According to the publicist for Damon who confirmed the news to People magazine, "She is a healthy baby girl."

The little girl was born today and is named Gia Zavala, with two older sisters Alexia 10 and Isabella who is two years old. From the sound of it, Matt will continue to be in the minority around his house with him outnumbered by the ladies three to one.

And it seems like just yesterday, we were confirming Luciana's pregnancy. Time flies when you're making babies.

]]> The Bourne Trilogy, Matt Damon and his wife Luciana have welcomed a baby girl into the world. According to the publicist for Damon who confirmed the news to People magazine, "She is a healthy baby girl."

The little girl was born today and is named Gia Zavala, with two older sisters Alexia 10 and Isabella who is two years old. From the sound of it, Matt will continue to be in the minority around his house with him outnumbered by the ladies three to one.

And it seems like just yesterday, we were confirming Luciana's pregnancy. Time flies when you're making babies.

Jessica Simpson: Using Her Cans To Sell Beer

2008-08-20T23:29:22Z

Wow, here I am getting ready to talk about how Jessica Simpson's latest business venture has her selling beer and we manage to catch her NOT walking around in her beloved denim cut-offs.

The ever-enterprising elder Simpson sister will be appearing in ads for the Dallas-based Stampede Light Plus, which is touting itself as a vitamin-packed brew for the drunk on the go!

According to Jess, "Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while." I want to see bitches at the Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness on the elliptical feeling the burn and chugging Stampede Light Plus to get hydrated.

I'm actually glad that this is coming out after Britney Spears' two little boys are done drinking out of bottles, because I'm pretty sure that back then, Britney (God love her) would have slapped some nipples on the bottles of bud and called it a day.

]]> Jessica Simpson's latest business venture has her selling beer and we manage to catch her NOT walking around in her beloved denim cut-offs.

The ever-enterprising elder Simpson sister will be appearing in ads for the Dallas-based Stampede Light Plus, which is touting itself as a vitamin-packed brew for the drunk on the go!

According to Jess, "Yes, I work out and take care of myself, but I also like a cold beer once in a while." I want to see bitches at the Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness on the elliptical feeling the burn and chugging Stampede Light Plus to get hydrated.

I'm actually glad that this is coming out after Britney Spears' two little boys are done drinking out of bottles, because I'm pretty sure that back then, Britney (God love her) would have slapped some nipples on the bottles of bud and called it a day.

Unqualified With J. Harvey: Problem Drinking

2008-08-20T23:26:00Z

Hey guys. This week we have a reader who got drunk and acted the fool and people aren't speaking to her. What can we do to help? God knows I'm an old hand at THIS particular topics. Keep reading.

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Hi J. Harvey,

I live in a small community in basically a rural area. We have a rather small group of peers who are here shall we say doing a similar kind of research. In the past few months, my true friends have moved on and I have felt pretty lonely. I wasn't sure how to respond to their departure-- try to merge with the other established cliques here or just wait til my time was up (not a short time, nearly a whole other year) and pioneer it out on my own? Well, apparently I decided to try to make new friends, and attended one of their functions recently. There's always lots of booze at these things and everyone was pretty drunk, but I got reeeeealllly drunk and did some things that were so absurd and socially retarded I can't bear to describe them.

I now see it was a combination of the lonely feelings and what I'm realizing is some kind of social anxiety problem I apparently have, as well as just the influence of the silly sauce of course, that led me to lose my good sense to such a degree. The saddest part is that I didn't even realize how retarded I had been acting. I really left thinking I had been a hit!!! : / But I ran into some of the 'in group' of these other cliques a few days after the party and they were so cold and dismissive of me it forced me to ask myself why the major change in attitude, and then it slowly dawned on me just how ridiculously inappropriate I had been. I didn't hurt anyone, I just made a fool of myself. In a crowd of people who liked me and knew me, the behavior would have been funny...but in a crowd of already slightly weirdly hostile tensions-- for no real reason, just stupid clique immaturity-- it was not received well, and outwardly ridiculed in fact, by one woman especially who always has been bafflingly evil to me.

Needless to say, I'm mortified. I've sworn off drinking just to be safe, though I'm pretty sure I'm not an alcoholic. (I am in recovery for another addiction and have in the past checked out the "Is AA for you?" pamphlets and I don't fit the bill, so it's not a simple matter of 'get this woman to rehab.' ) As I said before, our community is small. I can't avoid these people and it seems rumor of my actions have spread to the new people who replaced my graduated friends, who now don't want to be associated with me, and even to the supervisory staff in my lab and my once stellar reputation there is now becoming tainted, because my boss really values having a good image and the best workers, etc.... In addition to this, I'm now totally alone here. No even gratuitous invites anymore and there's just no one else to hang out with unless I leave town which is possible but expensive, though I do do it as often as I can. Should I apologize to these people? Try to make amends somehow? Just grin and bear it? I'm dying of loneliness and shame. Please tell me how you and your readers see it.

Dear Kal,

Oh, sweetie. If I had a Susan B. Anthony commemorative dollar for the amount of times I got my swerve on and ended up making a complete and total ass of myself - let's just say I'd be able to have a Jay's Favorite Things episode on my own damn talk show and the audience would be getting a lot of swag.

What I really want to know is - what did you do while you were drunk? SOMEONE must have told you. Did you f*ck someone's spouse? Pee in the middle of the dance floor? Rip off your clothes and try to entice the entire room? It must have been pretty hot if this many people are no longer speaking to you.

Did you like, slap your daughter and fall through a shower stall like Meg Ryan in When a Man Loves a Woman? God, I love that movie.

Like I said, you probably have nothing on me. I am your stereotypical Irish drunk. I have hit on straight dudes at a friend's bachelor party (all of them), locked myself in a bathroom stall at a concert venue and passed out causing paramedics to jump over and in to make sure I wasn't dead, gotten thrown out of my own ten year high school reunion, and sung a Cher medley during karaoke at a work function. You name it, I've done it and made a huge drunken fool of myself.

Anyone who drinks has, at least one time, gotten blitzed and made a fool of him or herself. It's the law of drinking. So stop beating yourself up over this, ok? (Jesus, did you run someone over?)

I'm not sure what you did exactly, so I'm not sure if these people are uptight twats or have a reason to be so frosty.

In any case, what I would do is lay low. Do your job to the best of your ability. Be friendly and cordial to people but don't simper. Hold your head high. Making a drunken ass out of yourself doesn't mean you should wear a scarlet "D" on your tit. Let some time go by. If you get invited to another function eventually, go and have soda water for the entire evening. If you even want to get back in with these judgey muthaf*ckas. ..

If they continue to be shady, continue going out of town to party. Do you REALLY want to be hanging with people that are so snotty? Groups of people ALWAYS need one person to look down on to make themselves feel better and in control.

It sounds like they picked you on account of your liquor escapade. Learn from it, stay strong, and move on.

If you do get a chance to make friends again with one of these people, and it's brought up, find out what their deal is. Some inside knowledge might be of benefit to you.

Oh, and that one bitch? Tell her to get that stick out of her cooze. And that you're sorry she got molested as a child. (I would wait until after work for that one.)

Ok. Now I need a drink...

Please keep sending your tales of drunken buffoonery to harvey.advice@gmail.com! I love your e-mails!

Please note that J. Harvey is not a childcare specialist, priest, therapist, counselor, or even a good listener. In other words, don't sue.

News Bites: James Franco Is A 'Slave To' Gucci

2008-08-20T22:59:00Z

- Former gay hustler James Franco appears in the new dramatic ass ad for men's fragrance Gucci by Gucci. For some reason, he's reciting the lyrics to Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love". Stop f*cking up songs I like, stoner bitch. Why does this ad look like a Saturday Night Live parody? I keep waiting for Cheri Oteri to pop out of a corner, looking serious but crosseyed.

- Makeup artist Paul Starr (real name?) was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment. He had been dead for several days before his body was found. Ouch. The cause of death is unknown. Starr worked for clients like Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, and Mariah Carey. Either Mimi killed him because he didn't cover up the muffin top adequately (she has one, deal with it!) or he didn't pay Angie enough worship and he was smote.

- Coldplay frontprick Chris Martin says he won't trash hotel rooms because he used to clean them. Well, that makes sense. Besides there's no way he could lift a TV with his fey ass wrist and successfully smash it through a window. All that pretension has sapped the strength from him.

]]>

- Former gay hustler James Franco appears in the new dramatic ass ad for men's fragrance Gucci by Gucci. For some reason, he's reciting the lyrics to Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love". Stop f*cking up songs I like, stoner bitch. Why does this ad look like a Saturday Night Live parody? I keep waiting for Cheri Oteri to pop out of a corner, looking serious but crosseyed.

- Makeup artist Paul Starr (real name?) was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment. He had been dead for several days before his body was found. Ouch. The cause of death is unknown. Starr worked for clients like Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, and Mariah Carey. Either Mimi killed him because he didn't cover up the muffin top adequately (she has one, deal with it!) or he didn't pay Angie enough worship and he was smote.

- Coldplay frontprick Chris Martin says he won't trash hotel rooms because he used to clean them. Well, that makes sense. Besides there's no way he could lift a TV with his fey ass wrist and successfully smash it through a window. All that pretension has sapped the strength from him.

Michelle Williams Grabs Joe

2008-08-20T22:29:00Z

Here's the lovely Michelle Williams grabbing some coffee in NYC with daughter Matilda and her Moms Carla. She had to dash from the cafe because Matilda ran out of there to romp about on the sidewalk. Spike Jonze fan Michelle's one of those celebrity moms who I dig because they seem crazy devoted to their kid. And it can't not be tough, what with the kid's dad Heath Ledger dying. How do you explain that to a kid. You can't lie and spin some kind of Santa Claus myth bullshit. The kid has to know that her daddy isn't coming back ever. And that he'll live in your heart consolation prize is crap. She's going to be upset that she can't remember him sometimes.

You know what? Dude should have been more careful with the pills.

Jesus, when did this become group therapy? My bad.

Click any image to view all 10 photos of Michelle Williams with her daughter Matilda Ledger and her mother in the gallery!

]]> Michelle Williams grabbing some coffee in NYC with daughter Matilda and her Moms Carla. She had to dash from the cafe because Matilda ran out of there to romp about on the sidewalk. Spike Jonze fan Michelle's one of those celebrity moms who I dig because they seem crazy devoted to their kid. And it can't not be tough, what with the kid's dad Heath Ledger dying. How do you explain that to a kid. You can't lie and spin some kind of Santa Claus myth bullshit. The kid has to know that her daddy isn't coming back ever. And that he'll live in your heart consolation prize is crap. She's going to be upset that she can't remember him sometimes.

You know what? Dude should have been more careful with the pills.

Jesus, when did this become group therapy? My bad.

Check out all 10 photos of Michelle Williams with her daughter Matilda Ledger and her mother in the gallery.

Caption apl.de.ap

2008-08-20T21:59:41Z

apl.de.ap of the Black Eyed Peas parties with female guest outside One On Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.

]]> apl.de.ap of the Black Eyed Peas parties with female guest outside One On Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.

This Summer...Janice Moves In

2008-08-20T21:44:45Z

Oxygen's hit series "THE JANICE DICKINSON MODELING AGENCY" will return for a dramatic and sizzling fourth season this summer. For the first time ever, Janice is bringing her models together to live in a Hollywood Hills mansion - and much to their surprise, Janice herself will also be moving in!

The diva-turned-den mother will confront a whole new set of challenges as she mixes her returning models with some fresh faces. Premieres on Tuesday, August 26 at 10/9c only on Oxygen. ]]> Oxygen's hit series "THE JANICE DICKINSON MODELING AGENCY" will return for a dramatic and sizzling fourth season this summer. For the first time ever, Janice is bringing her models together to live in a Hollywood Hills mansion - and much to their surprise, Janice herself will also be moving in!

The diva-turned-den mother will confront a whole new set of challenges as she mixes her returning models with some fresh faces. Premieres on Tuesday, August 26 at 10/9c only on Oxygen.